This reflection was inspired by World Kindness Day — a day that calls us to celebrate goodness in motion. But the truth is, kindness isn’t just a day on the calendar. It’s a daily discipline. A practice. A way of seeing.
There’s a quiet shift that happens when we decide to see with kindness. Not the kind of kindness that fits neatly on a poster or a hashtag — but the deeper kind. The kind that slows your breath, softens your jaw, and opens your eyes.
When you look through the lens of kindness, the world rearranges itself. You start noticing the small things — the tired parent still smiling at a child’s question, the colleague who lingers a moment longer because they need to be seen, the student who’s not “acting out” but asking for safety.
Kindness changes how we interpret what we see. It moves us from judgment to curiosity, from separation to understanding.
I used to think kindness was something I did. Now I understand it’s something I see with. It’s not just in the giving, but in the way I notice, the way I interpret, the way I choose to meet the world.
“At the most basic level, self-compassion simply requires being a good friend to ourselves.”
—Kristin Neff
But kindness isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s more than seeing through rose-colored glasses. It’s the courage to see the truth clearly — the broken and the beautiful — and to respond with softness instead of scorn. It’s a form of realism that doesn’t erode empathy. Kindness doesn’t deny pain; it meets pain with presence.
In my doctoral research at Liberty University, I explored how self-compassion helps women navigate worlds that magnify criticism and comparison. I studied former and current pageant contestants — women whose confidence was often tested by the gaze of others. Through creative therapeutic interventions, we found that increasing self-compassion improved body image, steadied emotions, and restored authenticity.
When women began offering themselves grace, confidence didn’t fade — it deepened. They became less defined by performance and more anchored in peace. That’s what self-compassion does: it grounds us, especially in the spaces where we are watched, judged, or expected to shine without faltering.
As Kristin Neff teaches, self-compassion rests on three pillars:
- Self-kindness over self-judgment.
- Common humanity over isolation.
- Mindfulness over over-identification with pain.
Each pillar widens the lens. When we see through kindness, we’re not ignoring reality — we’re choosing to witness it with gentleness.
In my home, we call this a way of life. Our family motto reminds us:
“In every language, we speak respect.
In every action, we choose kindness.
In every truth, we stand in sincerity.”
It’s taped to our fridge and tucked into our hearts — a compass we return to when words get sharp or patience runs thin. Because kindness, when practiced as a way of seeing, turns ordinary moments into sacred ones.
Kindness begins inside. When we offer gentleness to our own weary selves, we remember how to extend it outward. And when we extend it to others, we’re really mirroring what we’ve learned to give within.
So today, on World Kindness Day and every day that follows, I’m practicing this vision: to see not what frustrates me, but what hurts; not what divides, but what connects; not what’s missing, but what’s still possible.
Because when kindness becomes the lens, the world doesn’t just look softer — it becomes a little bit more whole.
Well-Stirred Reflection:
What might change today if you chose to see with kindness — toward yourself, and toward someone else?
Well-Stirred & Wondering 
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