A Realistic Thanksgiving Reflection
Thanksgiving always brings me into a certain kind of honesty — not the glossy, picture-perfect kind, but the quiet realism that honors what was true, what hurt, what healed, and what shaped me.
This year, I find myself thinking about the people I’m no longer close to. Not because I want to rekindle anything. Not because I’m stuck in the past. But because gratitude doesn’t require proximity — it simply requires truth.
Some were friends who walked with me through defining seasons. One of them — a long-time friend — heard me cry in the deepest, most fear-filled moments of my life.
They were on the other end of the line the day my brother almost took his own life, when my voice was so raw and loud, I could barely speak. They’ve heard the secrets I carried for years.They sat with versions of me few people ever knew.
And even though life eventually stretched distance and experiences between us, I remain deeply grateful for what that lifetime of seasons have meant. Not all forever-people a close forever. Some are sent to help us survive a particular chapter — and that is sacred in its own right.
Others were romantic relationships that shaped my becoming. Even my ex-husband — our story held both beauty and breaking. There were parts of the marriage that were genuinely good and full of hope, and parts that were painful in ways I had to grow out of. I’m not grateful for the hurt, but I am grateful through it: for what I learned for the strength I discovered, and for the three boys who changed my entire world.
Gratitude doesn’t rewrite what happened — it just acknowledges that even hard stories can have meaningful chapters.
There are even family relationships that shifted quietly over time. People who once felt foundational are now distant for reasons ranging from emotional safety to simple life evolution. I’ve learned that love isn’t measured by closeness, and distance isn’t a failure — sometimes it’s the boundary that allows everyone to breathe. Gratitude and space can coexist.
A Thanksgiving Prayer for the Parted-Paths People
As I sit with this season of reflection, a soft prayer rises for each person whose chapter in my life has closed:
“Thank you for the goodness you brought into my life in the time we shared.
Thank you for who I was when I knew you, and for who I became after.
I release you with a grateful heart. May you be well, wherever your story has taken you.”
This isn’t an invitation back into old dynamics. It doesn’t reopen wounds or wish for what was. It simply honors the reality that even once-important relationships can end without erasing their meaning.
Realistic Gratitude Is Not Delusion — It’s Discernment
It’s the kind of gratitude that says:
- I remember the good without denying the hard.
- I’m grateful for what we shared, even if it couldn’t last.
- I don’t need to return to a past version of myself or us.
- I release the relationship without resentment — but also without reunion.
Realistic gratitude holds both the tenderness and the truth of the story.
Let your gratitude be grounded. Let it be clear-eyed. Let it be peaceful.
This year, my heart settles on one simple truth:
“Still grateful. Even if we’re no longer close.”
Well Stirred Reflection
If You’re Thinking of Someone Too…
Maybe this Thanksgiving, there’s someone in your own story:
A friend who once held your secrets.
A partner who changed your life, for better or worse.
A family member who’s now distant.
Someone who walked with you through a stretch of your becoming.
If so, ask yourself gently:
What did that season give me?
What part of me grew because of them?
What blessing can I send their way without reopening a door?
How can I hold gratitude without holding on?
Well-Stirred & Wondering 
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